The last time I spoke to my ex he told me I was "always adorable." This caused me to pause. I seriously don't recall him ever commenting positively or negatively regarding my appearance. We were together for 8 years...but nothing comes to mind. I would remember I am sure of it. For crying out loud, I remember my friend Jim telling me I was beautiful when I was 16 and I have held onto that one for years.
When I think about my appearance it has never been pleasant in my head. I have never used kind words when I look in the mirror and I have always focused on my flaws, which have increased over the years. Yesterday while working out with the GHF I was self-conscious of my misquito bites. I get huge red welts that blister and of course I itch the hell out of them and then I get these really not so appealing scars that linger from summers long since past. I told the GHF it was just another one of my flaws and I laughed. I annouce my flaws, laugh at them, but still don't quite embrace them.
And yet, the fact that my ex told me I was adorable is lingering in my mind. Adorable. Not quite the same as 16 and beautiful from a boy I had the most fantastic crush on, but adorable non the less. I may have to hang onto this adjective for awhile...
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