I need a body double

I have started doing crunches. Seriously, crunches.  I am determined to find a 6 pack in there somewhere. I do these crunches at home, using an exercise ball because I'm to embarrassed to do them in front on anyone else- it's hard to do much of a crunch with a belly like mine. But I do them anyway. 100 of them- for the last 6 days. I dream about getting punched in the stomach repeatedly. Nice dreams of falling in love, or getting a job, etc and suddenly I get punched in the abs.(this would be the reason I am wide awake and typing at 4:17AM) That's how sore these crunches are making me. In addition to being sore, I have a fucked up neck and I think doing the crunches has tweaked a nerve because my equilibrium has been off for the last 3 days. So some day, I will have a 6 pack but I won't be able to show anyone because ever time I turn my neck I get light headed and feel faint...ah the price of beauty? Nah, the ab thing is a pure vanity on my part and I'm not giving up the dream of having the 6 pack, in spite of the fact that I may have to remain horizontal to show anyone.